cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
