Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
not ubering you a puppy
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
