I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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