I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
