Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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