Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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