I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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