i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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