If that was your dad, he is hot
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize