well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
