I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
