I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
