Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
