pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
