Umm I'm too high to move.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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