did you get engaged???
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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