I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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