the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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