I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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