How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize