shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
