Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
