found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
