STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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