sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
