I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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