Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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