I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
