benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
