I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Alive.
So much puke
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
