accomplished twins. life is a go
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
