it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
