Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
