In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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