Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You can't motorboat a personality
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
