If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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