And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
