btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
