Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
