whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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