They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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