I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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