is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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