Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
