Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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