I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
