i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
