no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I have post one night stand depression
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
