I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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