My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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