I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
