She is in my trunk
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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