you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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