If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
