Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
