Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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